Prototype

by Radical Entertainment, published by Activision for XBox 360

Prototype is a game I was looking forward to a great deal; I mean, it is an open-world game starring a super-powered character from the makers of The Incredible Hulk: Ultimate Destruction! It's Ultimate Destruction 2 only you've got over-the-top shape-changing powers instead of just being incredibly strong!

What's frustrating about the game is that it does so many things right. The opening sequence, giving you a tease of what's to come later, is about as well handled as these things can be. And even when you flash back to the beginning of the narrative, the game plays brilliantly. But the game lost me fairly early on, and I'm not likely to go back to it.

What lost me? There's a mission where I break into an office building, and then I am chased out of the building by what looked to be four monsters to an army base. I enter the army base level (being a separate environment than the open world), one of the monsters follows me. I kill it with the rocket launchers left about conveniently (not sarcasm; it is military base, after all), absorb it, and gain claws. Then the other three jump in, and I was learning how fight these things, and I die a lot, but I come back at the checkpoint time and I have these claws now that are way better than my fists if not quite as good as the rocket launcher and eventually I beat all the monsters that were chasing me awesome!

And more monsters jump in the base, breaking the deal I suddenly realize I never had with the game that there were four monsters. I die again, and I have Ultimate Destruction on the bookcase next to me, Crackdown on the bookcase across the room, and Infamous sitting next to my roommate's PlayStation 3, and I realize that while it was fun for the couple of hours I played it, I don't want to play Prototype any more or even ever again and go to bed.

Final Crisis

by Grant Morrison, JG Jones et al; published by DC Comics

I originally started writing this as a comment on David Uzumeri's post on issue 7 over on Funnybook Babylon when it got way too long and digressing. Now that I've had a little time to digest the whole of Final Crisis (minus Legion of Three Worlds, obviously), I find that the channel surfing style I've seen mentioned on the internet makes it feels like Morrison tried to emulate how every other capital-C capital-E Crossover Event ties in to every other book in the line, only this time DC never bothered to publish (or even plan to ever have) most of the tie-ins.

Take Aquaman - clearly, the currently running Aquaman ongoing series tied in to Final Crisis and told the story of Arthur's return to Atlantis in its hour of need, except - oops, that title doesn't even exist and was probably never even going to. Mr Terrific & his OMAC Army getting from Antarctica in Resist back to the Castle (and what happened to the OMACs until #7)? Checkmate #32 and #33, also never even conceived.

Despite my snarkiness, this works for me. The DC Big Events used to only last for one month, so the only time I was old enough to have the money and young enough to not have something better to spend it on than a comic book event and every tie-in issue was DC One Million (competing would have been things like Metal Gear Solid), which even then still had a few gaps in it (although that annoyed me at the time - "I GOT EVERYTHING AND YOU *STILL* DIDN'T SHOW ALL THE TITANS ESCAPING THE ROCKET RED SUITS?" - so part of me understands some of the complaints I see on the internets), so any other event I've ever read always has such gaps. What DOES bother me are the ways what ought to be major events are unclear - is Mr Terrific dead? (I don't think he is...) Hawkman and Hawkgirl? (I think so...) Final Crisis is magnificent and the rapid-fire quick cutting works, but simple failures in storytelling - in clearly showing what ought to be seen - keep it from being perfect.

All-Star Batman & Robin, the Boy Wonder volume 1

By Frank Miller and Jim Lee with Scott Williams; published by DC Comics

"You've just been drafted. Into a war." Collecting the first nine issues of the monthly series All-Star Batman & Robin, the Boy Wonder (ASBAR), this book acts as a sequel to Miller and David Mazzuchelli's Batman: Year One. To anyone expecting more of the same, or even coming to comics from the movie The Dark Knight - ASBAR chucks out the dark, serious tone of its forebears and replaces it with something resembling a fever dream. It feels fast (in stark contrast to how it felt to anyone trying to get it as a monthly series, as these nine issues took about two-and-a-half years to come out); the Goddamn Batman laughs as he beats the crap out of the underworld and messes with Miller's versions of the other heroes published by DC.

It looks like a million bucks - Miller writes to Jim Lee's strengths as well as he has to previous artistic partners, like Geof Darrow (Big Guy and Rusty the Boy Robot) or Dave Gibbons (Martha Washington). That first shot of the Batcave astonishes in its detail, and women like Vicki Vale seem effortlessly sexy. The appropriateness of some of the scenes can be called into question early on, but as ASBAR progresses it becomes clear that they are part of the Goddamn Batman's world: a technicolour Sin City.

Speaking of Sin City, the plot feels like what would happen if Miller replaced The Hard Goodbye's Marv with Batman and Robin. ASBAR is the story of how Batman recruits his iconic sidekick, Robin. Batman kidnaps the just-orphaned Dick Grayson, leaves Dick in a cave to fend for himself, puts some shortpants on the kid, and cackles like a madman the entire time. He seems to realize how deeply troubled - and lacking in training - Robin is when the Boy Wonder almost kills a man, finally giving Grayson time to mourn. And once the turning point is reached... the volume ends.

There is the matter of Batman's archfoe, the Joker, who is positioning himself to be the villain of ASBAR. When the Joker puts in his appearance in this volume he is quite insane; but he is dour, dark, and when he says "But I'm not very funny," he's absolutely correct. The Goddamn Batman is writ large across Gotham City and revels in being at his prime; the Joker takes himself so seriously, right down to the giant dragon tattoo stretching across his back. It's an inversion of the Batman/Joker dynamic in virtually every other Batman story since 1970.

ASBAR volume 1 is ultimately an unsatisfying read due to its inability to stand alone. How it holds up depends greatly on what comes next - which hopefully does not take until 2011 (or later!) to resolve. Miller sees all his Batman stories as taking place in the same timeline, so it is possible to see what happens eventually in Batman: the Dark Knight Returns and Batman: the Dark Knight Strikes Again, but those are hardly substitutes to getting an actual conclusion.

ASBAR is the Batman book you wanted when you were a fifteen-year-old-boy. It's Sin City: Gotham. It's spiritual sequel to The Dark Knight Strikes Again. It could very well be part of a joke Miller's been playing on DC for the last decade. If any of those things sounds appealing, All-Star Batman & Robin is for you. Otherwise - it might be best to stay away.

Where did everything go?

The old version of this, as personal blog, can now be found at http://oldisaytheenay.blogspot.com. This location will become a place where I review things, because "I Say Thee Nay" feels like much too good a name to waste not reviewing things on.